The Story So Far

Radek is now officially confirmed in Radio and Television arts just like, Murray, Janice, Leslie, Mike, Brandon, Sara, Joel, Sandra, and David!

This bring it up to the 3rd biggest program in my friends pool.

on a side note all spots for the TVO1 radio hosting are taken. So, stop messaging me.

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Reading was fun. I spent most of the time with my cousin (CityTV Anchor). WE actually had a indoor bbq which was scary.

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I met a girl who was deaf it's so dam hot.

Now i have 2 exams to write ...wish me luck...

It's funny when you spent years thinking you have feelings for someone and then you meet them and talk to them al realize it was all a fantasy -- you really have no feelings at all.

What a night.

You know, everything was going so well. School, work and friends. I'm was comfortably pleased with my marks, money was not an issue and i was attending pubs and parties every weekend. I had time to resume my photography and music and i even met up with Kendra and Rory. Life was bliss ...

Until I lost Lucia.

Admittedly I didn't think anything of it at 1st. I didn't really know the girl and she was interstingly dangerous. But as i spent more time working on my music collection late night, i would notice around 5-6 am i would start to wonder how she was.

I stubbornly have refused to apologize thinking it was for the best. But it's not. It hit my square in the face when got back-stabbed by a friend, everything is too short, to be an angry, resentful and stupid person.

Why can't I stop thinking about her? She's one of the unique people i've identified. I've always sought out uniqueness, and latch onto it. I don't know why, perhaps i am searching for my own unique place, maybe i just don't want to be normal. But I can't let go, not before trying again.

So today i'm going to see her, for the 1st time in months. I often pictured myself like the admiral. Giving two words "The book" in response to the book she has of mine in which i want to get back. If she said anything i'd just say "the book please" and then walk off.

Now I don't know what i'm going to say. I'll probably meet her at starbucks and she might very well claim "i'm working" which i can't blame her, because shes not a certified bartista.

No longer content to just see her thru the glass as I walk by, i'm going to apologize.

The apology of my life.

"I could die for you, and I don't even know you" is what i'll be thinking.

i mean.. who else would ever have watched Edward Scissorhands and been so into it as me...only Luce

And I thought i couldn't retreat anymore from the outside world...they invent...

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/061019/koddities/cloak_of_invisibility

Missing shifts
Sleeping with Ex-Ems
Friends live on iradio
work done
getting fired
money
party
newmarket and a monkey
vaccum torching
clothes bathing
insect paranoia
boredom music
facking sickness
scared teachers
rush hour rides
best friend tales
and there is still tommrow.

So I wasn't really gonna write this journal anymore, until I made some friends as Ryerson. Mission Accomplished. So I suppose i'm going to update this whole layout and what not and try to look cool. As if cool was some tangiable, ( it's really just peer pessure).

And for the update

Finally got my Ryecard. and i don't look bald! hurra! Already I'm being know as the kid with the black hat, as I have never taken it off once in the last 2 weeks. I got to school with some fairly weird kids. One of them is named Cosmic..Ok. However, This one girl looks like a friend of mine, and not jsut looks but is perhaps her twin!!!

Now i've had this experience before at Ryerson. Back when i was in grade 12 I was dating this girl who went to Ryerson. She had a Twin sister, and for the love of me I could not tell them apart. I remember seeing her sister (from the back) and i grabbed her and even when i saw her face I still didn't know and i talked to her for a good 30 mins before her sister make a coughing sound and turned my face red.

This situation is slightly differnt, for you see I DON'T KNOW THE GIRL. I have seen her 4 times and all four times scared the crap outta her. The last time after i scared i asked if she was my friend and she said NO!...I quickly made an exit trying to avoid a restraining order.

I also met up with my friend today(Finally) and watched some Arrested Development (Analysist and Therapist = ANALRAPIST?)and will prolly make that a wensday habit..maybe learn to cook i don't know haha.

All the excitment aside, things are where they should be I will hopefully get a new job, since Staples is for Sucks.

Never understood how she could,
Mean so little to so many
Why does she mean everything to me?

Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?

Questioning her good intention
Jealousy's a bad invention
When you push on glass, it's bound to break

Even when she was defensive,
It just gave me more incentive
The more you squeeze, the more it slips away

I never walked so far on a lonely street
With no-one there for me
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?

Accept this confession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
You're not my possession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
My conscience is vicious! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
And I'm begging forgiveness! ...I'm walking on pins and needles

I never walked so far on a lonely street,
With no one there for me
It took too long to see her in misery
And now it's clear to me

That it's worth the pain, always take the blame
For all your own insecurities
How did I ever let you go?

I setup two new rooms in my house...what a project spanning 2 months.
my room now looks pretty designerish...a bunk bed aiwht a bench and fridge and all .

Getting ready to live with an additional 6 people..that means 10 people living in my house...thats gonna be insane!

Anyways i cleaned up and threw about 15 garbage bags of crap out. I found alot of old stuff espicially photos i thought i had lost.

yup so thats what i've been doing.

Getting ready for Ryerson. But getting transfer credits are tough.

If y'all going to danforth this weekend, tell me i'll come along too. i love the taste of the danforth.

Life:

work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep, lunch, work.


Seems there isn't anything to do or anyone to talk to anymore.

money is raising steadily in my account, but for what? oh right tuition payments... i can't fucking wait to go back.

3 months? can't be that long to go...

and now i have a swollen foot. when she asked me out for a drink i didn't think and now my foot is hurt.

missed the cd release party.

what? who? no i'm sorry i don't know anyone pasted last year...they are faded ink in my history.