I could die for you.

You know, everything was going so well. School, work and friends. I'm was comfortably pleased with my marks, money was not an issue and i was attending pubs and parties every weekend. I had time to resume my photography and music and i even met up with Kendra and Rory. Life was bliss ...

Until I lost Lucia.

Admittedly I didn't think anything of it at 1st. I didn't really know the girl and she was interstingly dangerous. But as i spent more time working on my music collection late night, i would notice around 5-6 am i would start to wonder how she was.

I stubbornly have refused to apologize thinking it was for the best. But it's not. It hit my square in the face when got back-stabbed by a friend, everything is too short, to be an angry, resentful and stupid person.

Why can't I stop thinking about her? She's one of the unique people i've identified. I've always sought out uniqueness, and latch onto it. I don't know why, perhaps i am searching for my own unique place, maybe i just don't want to be normal. But I can't let go, not before trying again.

So today i'm going to see her, for the 1st time in months. I often pictured myself like the admiral. Giving two words "The book" in response to the book she has of mine in which i want to get back. If she said anything i'd just say "the book please" and then walk off.

Now I don't know what i'm going to say. I'll probably meet her at starbucks and she might very well claim "i'm working" which i can't blame her, because shes not a certified bartista.

No longer content to just see her thru the glass as I walk by, i'm going to apologize.

The apology of my life.

"I could die for you, and I don't even know you" is what i'll be thinking.

i mean.. who else would ever have watched Edward Scissorhands and been so into it as me...only Luce